So Long, College Basketball

Looking back with fond memories on the college basketball season that just came to a close:

  • How heartbreaking it must be for the Butler Bulldogs to lose the championship game two years in a row.
  • Hooray for the SEC, the only conference with two teams who made it to the Elite Eight.
  • Although I never become a Florida fan until most of the other SEC teams have fallen by the wayside, I concede that the Gators’ gym floor graphics are the best-looking in the whole NCAA.
  • And speaking again of the SEC, the Kentucky Wildcats have the coolest uniforms.  I love the subtle blue-and-white jockey silk checkerboard pattern and the outline of the state on the back of the jerseys.
  • Still on the subject of Kentucky, I can’t help but question Coach Calipari’s “no bench” strategy.  If his starters ever got a chance to rest, maybe they’d be national champions.
  • Whenever I watch a game where I have no particular allegiance to either team, I pick the one whose players have the fewest tattoos.
  • Once again, television commentators outdid themselves with overused phrases.  If I never hear another announcer say “high basketball IQ,” “skill set,” “resiliency,” “physicality,” or “athleticism,” it will be too soon.  New this year is the term “verticality.”  Seriously?
  • Speaking of wacky things T.V. commentators and coaches (all of whom shall remain nameless for the purposes of this column)say, how about “If nothing don’t happen, they’ll  win the game,” “There’s a whole lot of ligaments in the knee area,” and—my favorite—“We were playing within the continuity of our offense.”  Huh?
  • I can’t help but wonder whether Vanderbilt standout and Nigeria native Festus Ezeli comes from a family of “Gunsmoke” fans.
  • It’s a lot of fun to watch Cookeville’s very own Gary Maxwell referee a game.
  • What’s with the scraggly chin hairs so that so many players sported this season?
  • The college with the best mascot?  The University of Richmond “Spiders,” without question.
  • I’d just as soon watch a game from the Goodyear blimp than through the lens of a “skycam.”   Give it up, ESPN.
  • The TV commercial I dislike the most from this basketball season?  Announcing the Capitol One Cup. Boooooooring.  The commercials I still can’t decide whether I love or hate?  Subway ads that feature adults acting and talking like little kids.  And my hands-down favorite?   Jack Link’s Jerky “Messin’ With Sasquatch.”
  • And speaking of Sasquatch, don’t miss next week’s column.  I’ll have a lot more to say about him then.

(April 10, 2011)


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